We Need To Talk About Kevin

We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Paperback, 468 pages

Published May 9th 2006 by Serpent's Tail

(First published April 14th 2003)

Shelves: abuse, adult-fiction, books-i-own, classics, contemporary, crime-thriller-mystery, desperate-to-read, mental-health, read, read-in-2020, realistic-fiction, too-much-hype, serpents tail

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

Shortly before his sixteenth birthday, Kevin Khatchadourian kills seven of his fellow high-school students, a cafeteria worker and a teacher. He is visited in prison by his mother, Eva, who narrates in a series of letters to her estranged husband, Franklin, the story of Kevin's upbringing. For this powerful, shocking novel, Lionel Shriver was awarded the Orange Prize for Fiction. 

We need to talk about Kevin is yet another one of those books that I have been wanting to read for a long time, and I'm only half pleased that I've finally gotten around to reading it. Again, this is one of those books that , dramatically hyped up in my head, mainly due to my own intrigue over the subject manner, but also due to the multitudes of positive reaction land awards) that the book has received. 

I  have very mixed feelings after reading this book, which makes it quite difficult to both rate and review! The truth is, it took me more than one hundred pages to really get into the story and that is due to the author's writing style. The book consists entirely of letters, written from Kevin's mother, Eva, to his father, Franklin, following the event of a school shooting that was committed by their son. I usually enjoy the epistolary style of writing but despite the honesty of the content of the letters, they didn't seem 'real' and so I found it difficult to connect with the writer. For me, the writing was just too much - it felt as though most sentences were unnecessarily prolonged with adjectives, long-winded and made reading seem laborious.  I couldn't help but feel as though the author was often just trying to make use of as much of her vocabulary as possible. There is somewhat of a 'twist’ at the end of the book, but the writing style itself allowed me to figure it out within only a short amount of reading.

The actual substance of the book was undoubtedly impressive. The story explores a lot of issues, the main one being motherhood and the trials and tribulations that it can entail. Granted, the main event of this book is a horrific crime that, thankfully, most parents won't have to experience, but there are so many concepts and ideas shared by Eva that are accessible to all - this book is very philosophical at points and certainly gives you a lot to think about. I can't deny that I kept thinking about this book long after I closed it.

I found this book very uncomfortable to read and, as strange as it sounds, this was its star quality. Despite my obsession with all things true-crime, this book - mostly the final section - is probably one of the most disturbing pieces of writing that I've read. The unease that the story conjures really emphasises the complexity of the whole situation. It is very effective.

Overall, this book was a bit hit-and-miss. Whilst I was sorely disappointed by the beginning of the book, I am glad that I stuck with it. I really did struggle through the arduous first portion of the book, but by the midway point I felt much more compelled to pick it up. By the end of the book I even (slightly!) began to regret that the book was ending. The philosophical aspect of this book is very well thought out. I haven't read many fictional books that have been able to make me think quite so much and I am thankful for that, I've now considered things about motherhood and parent-child relationships that I most likely wouldn't have if it wasn't for this book. Despite my issues with the waiting style, I would recommend reading this book simply for the experience - I can see why the book gained awards and it's reputation as a modern book of significance.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark

I'll Be Gone In The Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer by Michelle McNamara

Paperback, 344 pages

Published 28th February 2019 by Faber & Faber

Shelves: arc-or-review, books-i-own, crime-thriller-mystery, desperate-to-read, historical, lasting-impression, memoirs-biographies-etc, movies-or-tv, non-fiction, rape, read, read-in-2020, title-appeal

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

The masterful true crime account of the Golden State Killer - the serial rapist turned murderer who terrorised California for over a decade - from the late Michelle McNamara. I'll Be Gone in the Dark offers a unique snapshot of suburban West Coast America in the 1980s, and a chilling account of the wreckage left behind by a criminal mastermind. It is also a portrait of one woman's obsession and her unflagging pursuit of the truth, three decades later, in spite of the personal cost. Updated with material which takes in the extraordinary events that followed its initial publication, Michelle McNamara's first and last book is a contemporary classic - humane, haunting and heroic.

I'll Be Gone in the Dark is a book unlike any other that I've read. The book is beautifully written whilst describing a real-life horror story. This is the story of the late Michelle McNamara's obsessive search for an elusive monster. This is the story of the known attacks of The Golden State Killer, also known as The East Area Rapist, The Original Night Stalker, The Visalia Ransacker, The Diamond Knot Killer, and only more recently, Joseph James DeAngelo. 

It is difficult to review this book and it's difficult to read too, which is part of its success. Quotes on the book cover state that this is a book that you can't put down, it's something to read in one-sitting, but for me it was completely the opposite. The writing is indeed gripping and compulsive, but also frighteningly vivid. It can be a difficult book to digest due to the content and it's important to take breaks in order to really appreciate  exactly what you've just read, to absorb the impact that the events of the book had on the victims and the wider community of California. Whilst I was gripped by the crimes and mystery - as I was and I am - this is a book that I had to consciously keep putting down in order to reflect upon whilst still eager to get back to. 

McNamara's prose is surprisingly beautiful despite often describing such violent content. This is a book that is so well written, the crimes so clearly portrayed that it is guaranteed to have a lasting effect on any reader. The Golden State Killer stalked, burglarised, bound, raped, psychologically tortured and tormented his victims before going on to murder some. McNamara uses all of her collected evidence and investigative skills to bring these crimes to life on paper, not being afraid to share small, intimate details whilst still never overstating and always showing respect to the victims. This entire book is a fantastic piece of investigative journalism, but for me, the stand-out part was Michelle's final piece of writing that was included, entitled "Letter to an Old Man" - her imagination of the Golden State Killer's eventual arrest, where it's almost as though she foreshadowed his eventual capture.

Admittedly, the book does seem a little disjointed at places, both due to the fact that it's not written chronologically and that it was partially written/edited posthumously, but this doesn't distract from McNamara's apparent talent for writing, her brilliant investigative and journalistic skills as well as her sheer dedication and determination. I also enjoyed seeing how she gained the trust of detectives and police departments. Her untimely sudden death only adds more sadness to the whole story. The fact that she didn't finally get to discover the GSK's true identity is heartbreaking and I truly wish that she had been able to watch Joseph DeAngelo's arrest and sentencing. Thankfully, her main wish did however come true and we now know exactly who the Golden State Killer is - that is partially with thanks to Michelle's hard work, relentless research and her publicity of the case.

Before reading this book, I did have some general knowledge about The Golden State Killer, learned from the documentary series Unmasking a Killer and some internet searches. Here in the UK, he is not well known and the known crimes were committed before I was born - I first heard about him after his arrest. I read I'll Be Gone In The Dark in the week during DeAngelo's sentencing, where he was sentenced to life imprisonment. I really feel like I have watched, and now have read, an important piece of criminal history. 

This is a book and a case that will stay with me for a long time and that I will continue to follow. I highly recommend I'll Be Gone In The Dark to anybody who is interested in true crime, criminology, forensic science or investigative journalism. It has really made me see not only the Golden State Killer, but all undiscovered serious criminals, in a new perspective. 

The TV adaptation of I'll Be Gone in the Dark, produced by HBO, is available to watch in the UK from today (30th August) on the Sky Crime Channel, but be sure to read the book first! 

Boy Meets Boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Paperback, 256 pages

Published 1st August  by Harper Collins
Shelves: books-i-own, contemporary, desperate-to-read, lgbt-maintheme, read-in-2013, realistic-fiction, to-read, too-much-hype, young-adult

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

This is the story of Paul, a sophomore at a high school like no other: The cheerleaders ride Harleys, the homecoming queen used to be a guy named Daryl (she now prefers Infinite Darlene and is also the star quarterback), and the gay-straight alliance was formed to help the straight kids learn how to dance. 

When Paul meets Noah, he thinks he’s found the one his heart is made for. Until he blows it. The school bookie says the odds are 12-to-1 against him getting Noah back, but Paul’s not giving up without playing his love really loud. His best friend Joni might be drifting away, his other best friend Tony might be dealing with ultra-religious parents, and his ex-boyfriend Kyle might not be going away anytime soon, but sometimes everything needs to fall apart before it can really fit together right.

This is a happy-meaningful romantic comedy about finding love, losing love, and doing what it takes to get love back in a crazy-wonderful world.

Boy Meets Boy has been sitting on my to-read list for years now and it has always been one of those books that I felt like every one had read, apart from me. I have read and enjoyed several books written by Levithan, and as this book, his first novel, has been re-released in the UK with bright new colours, I thought that it was finally time to read the book that brought David Levithan his fame.

Boy Meets Boy is the story of Paul, an openly gay teenager, and of the people around him. As expected by Levithan, there is  colourful host of different characters in this book, many of which dealing with LGBT issues. Our protagonist is openly gay (he came out aged 5) and very much accepted in the community. Paul's best friend, Tony, is struggling to be accepted by his very religious parents. Infinite Darlene, a six-foot drag queen and the star quarterback (though that's definitely no problem). Kyle is Paul's ex-boyfriend who frankly has no idea what he wants. Then there is also Noah - the new guy and Paul's romantic interest.

In the other books I have read, I have always admired Levithan's ability to portray LGBT characters as plainly as most people write about more commonly written heterosexual characters, not having to emphasise that they are different in any way, but rather simply just accepting them as who they are. I have to admit that I was a little torn in how I felt about acceptance in this book. At some points, I just didn't really feel as though these characters, or their situations were very real. Levithan has created a realistic setting of a school and a town, but for the most part, things seem a little utopian for the LGBT community - it was perhaps a world that many of us, myself included, dream of existing in the future.  I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I feel as though in the real world, this wouldn't be the case. Perhaps this Utopia was deliberately created as a positive place, a happy place, and if I knew this before reading the book, I would have been in a different mind-set, not expecting complete realism. 

There were two things that really stood out in this book. One of these things was the relationship between Paul and Noah. A lot of this book was about relationships and friendships, about people interacting, and the chemistry between these two really built up as the book progressed. I really loved getting to know about Noah through Paul. I also found Tony's parent's denial or fear of his sexuality to be something that stood out to me as there weren't really many huge issues or problems in this book apart from this one. Tony's household seemed like the anomaly of the book - Tony was the one character that hadn't been accepted. Tony was possibly the character that I liked most in this book and I felt a real sense of pride for his courage. There most likely could be a link made between Tony's struggle and this other utopian world, if you want to look more deeply into this novel.

As aforementioned, I have read several of Levithan's other books and have really enjoyed them. The book that I read before this book was his latest UK release, Every Day which I absolutely loved and rated very highly. Due to this and the large popularity surrounding Boy Meets Boy, I had very high expectations for this book. Unfortunately, I think that because of these very high expectations, I was a little less enthusiastic about this book than many others have been. That's not to say that the book was in any way poor, but rather it was nothing that struck me as amazing. I would not discourage anybody to pick up this books, as there are so many people who have loved it. Personally, I'd definitely recommend the author, but perhaps not this specific title.

The Fault In Our Stars

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Hardback, 368 pages

Published 10th Jan 2012 by Puffin Books

Shelves: adult-fiction, awful-cover, books-i-own, contemporary, medical-conditions, read, read-in-2013, realistic-fiction, title-appeal, young-adult

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 13, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumours in her lungs... for now. 

Two years post-miracle, sixteen-year-old Hazel is post-everything else, too; post-high school, post-friends and post-normalcy. And even though she could live for a long time (whatever that means), Hazel lives tethered to an oxygen tank, the tumours tenuously kept at bay with a constant chemical assault. 

Enter Augustus Waters. A match made at cancer kid support group, Augustus is gorgeous, in remission, and shockingly to her, interested in Hazel. Being with Augustus is both an unexpected destination and a long-needed journey, pushing Hazel to re-examine how sickness and health, life and death, will define her and the legacy that everyone leaves behind.

The Fault in Our Stars is a book that was all over the media last year. Although I wouldn't particularly class myself as a 'fan' of John Green, I have enjoyed some books written by him and I did pre-order the book after hearing about it. I received the book as soon as it was released, yet it has still taken me this long to pick it up - 2013! Finally, I decided to see what all of the fuss was about...

I started the book with the thought that it was going to be the best thing ever, as I know so many people who have raved about it. Unfortunately, whenever I do this, most of the time I'm disappointed. I wasn't completely disappointed with this book, but I was disappointed in the sense that I must've missed something - some impact that this book has on others that it hasn't had on me. I did feel several things during reading, the most prominent emotion being sadness - yes, I did shed a few tears, but I also felt a sense of hope. On the subject of emotion, I did admire the way that Green put across each individual character, showing that each did have different thoughts, feelings and ways of dealing with cancer.

I find it hard to review 'cancer books' because understandably, it is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. I like reading these books because I'm curious, I'm interested, I'm an emotional person who wants to connect with the characters. There seem to be a lot of books like this one on bookshelves at the moment, and perhaps that is why this one didn't hit me as hard as it could have - I don't feel that Green really did anything spectacularly shocking or high-impact. The one 'twist' that Green did include wad still not all that unexpected, it was something that was in the back of my mind as a possibility all of the time - however, it shows that Green did well when I still shed a tear when it happened.

I didn't connect all that much with the characters at the beginning - they seemed standard and it took me a while to like them. I particularly had a fondness for Isaac, a teenage boy who also participated in group therapy with Hazel and Augustus.  I did like the characters the more I read though and I did really enjoy seeing their interactions together. Green did succeed in showing these individuals for who they are, rather than their illnesses. It felt somewhat precious to see them interact, play video games, worry about relationships, just be themselves and not let their illness bother them in that moment. 

Hazel and Augustus were the most important characters in this novel, as they meet at a support group and become very close friends. I liked Augustus very much - he was the typical atypical or 'quirky' love interest. I could understand their attraction to each other, it wasn't out of the blue and they obviously connected. It did take me a while to like both of these characters though, as often I just couldn't believe what they were saying. Green seems to be trying to be pretty 'deep' or philosophical in this book, but, for me, it didn't work out - the things that Augustus and Hazel talked about seemed too philosophical for sixteen year olds, sure they had probably been through a lot but it doesn't mean that they'd talk like they do in the book - some of the conversation felt a little forced. I do like Green's style of writing, his phrases, but sometimes it does seem a little too pretentious for YA characters. 

A lot of the deeper discussions that Hazel and Augustus had were about Hazel's favourite book, An Imperial Affliction by Peter Van Houten. It was a good catalyst for conversation between the couple and they even ended up visiting Amsterdam, attempting to meet the author. I really enjoyed going with Hazel and Augustus on their trip and meeting the author. It was quite a different experience and felt slightly more apart from the rest of the story, I really felt that it stood out and not only was it an achievement for Hazel and Augustus, it was also one for me, the reader, as at that point I was sucked into the story and really started to enjoy it.

Overall, The Fault In Our Stars is a book that I did, for the most part enjoy and  I would recommend it to others. I do wish that the characters and structure were a little more unique from all of the other YA out there right now, but Green did do a decent job. I'm very pleased that this book has got more people reading and I will certainly try to read more of Green's work in the future.

Before I Die

Before I Die by Jenny Downham

Paperback, 345 pages

Published  October 2008 by Black Swan

My shelves: books-i-own, contemporary, death, desperate-to-read, favourites, medical-conditions, read, read-in-2012, realistic-fiction, really-good, title-appeal, young-adult

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

Tessa has just months to live. Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It’s her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is Sex. Released from the constraints of ‘normal’ life, Tessa tastes new experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up. Tessa’s feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged mother, her best friend, and her new boyfriend, all are painfully crystallised in the precious weeks before Tessa’s time finally runs out.

Buy this book:

The Book Depository / Amazon (US/INT) / Amazon UK

Before I Die is one of those books that I've wanted to read since I heard of it's existence. It was one of those books that I just knew I would love, that would be special to me. However, it's taken me years to pick up the book even though it's been sitting on my bookshelf. It may sound strange, but I always put off books that I really want to read, as you can only experience them for the first time once. I am so glad that reading this book lived up to, or perhaps even exceeded, my expectations.

This book tells the story of Tessa, a girl with terminal illness and a bucket list of things that she is determined to do, including having sex, taking drugs and breaking other laws, before she dies. Tessa is like a lot of teenagers, with the one difference being that she is terminally ill. Our main character is very thought provoking, super brave, sometimes a bit reckless, somewhat scared and a little confused. It is very easy to connect with Tessa as she is a very genuine character and one who I came to truly care for as the book progressed. As you can imagine, Tessa has a lot of mixed feelings about her illness and the end of her life and it is interesting to see how they changed as time went on. I have no idea how I'd react in Tessa's situation, but all I know is that Tessa's thoughts and emotions felt so real. 

A lot of relationships are explored in this book in a very touching way, all very impressive. Reading about Tessa's relationship with her close family was very poignant - I really loved her relationship with her brother which had the usual banter and fun of a brother/sister friendship with a serious issue behind it. Tessa's father found his daughter's illness understandably difficult and reacted much in the way as I probably would have in his situation - though he did try to keep strong, his sadness was very evident. I didn't find Tessa's mum to contribute to the book all that much, but perhaps that was because I couldn't relate to her family situation. I was a bit unsure about Tessa's best friend, Zoey. Although their friendship is written well, I am still not sure how I feel about Zoey as a character - Though I was glad she tried to get on with life and help Tessa do the same, I felt she lacked some sensitivity, however there is no doubt that, however dysfunctional their relationship was, Zoey and Tessa were firm friends. The other main relationship in this book was the romantic one between Tessa and Adam. I absolutely loved Adam's attitude and admired his devotion towards Tessa. With a book like this, it could've felt that a romance was just added as an extra, but this really added something to the book - something very special.

Jenny Downham has done an fantastic job of making this book feel real - all of the little added details and the strong, powerful emotions of each character had serious impact. The ending of this book is expectedly heart wrenching and I ended up in floods of tears, however, it felt right - it wrapped up well and though I knew what was coming, it hit me hard. I absolutely adored Downham's writing and look forward to seeing what else she can offer. I'd recommend this for both young adults and adults - it's a book I will be raving about for some time to come!