Sickened: The True Story of a Lost Childhood

Sickened: The True Story of a Lost Childhood by Julie Gregory

Paperback, 320 pages

Published 30th September 2004 by Arrow

(First published 2003)

Shelves:  abuse, books-i-own, currently-reading, let-down, medical-conditions, memoirs-biographies-etc, mental-health, misery-lit, read-in-2021

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

A young girl is perched on the cold chrome of yet another doctor’s examining table, missing yet another day of school. Just twelve, she’s tall, skinny, and weak. It’s four o’clock, and she hasn’t been allowed to eat anything all day. Her mother, on the other hand, seems curiously excited. She's about to suggest open-heart surgery on her child to "get to the bottom of this." She checks her teeth for lipstick and, as the doctor enters, shoots the girl a warning glance. This child will not ruin her plans.

From early childhood, Julie Gregory was continually X-rayed, medicated, and operated on—in the vain pursuit of an illness that was created in her mother’s mind. Munchausen by proxy (MBP) is the world’s most hidden and dangerous form of child abuse, in which the caretaker—almost always the mother—invents or induces symptoms in her child because she craves the attention of medical professionals. Many MBP children die, but Julie Gregory not only survived, she escaped the powerful orbit of her mother's madness and rebuilt her identity as a vibrant, healthy young woman.

Punctuated with Julie's actual medical records, Sickened re-creates the bizarre cocoon of her family's isolated double-wide trailer, their wild shopping sprees and gun-waving confrontations, the astonishing naïveté of medical professionals and social workers. It also exposes the twisted bonds of terror and love that roped Julie's family together—including the love that made a child willing to sacrifice herself to win her mother's happiness.

The realization that the sickness lay in her mother, not in herself, would not come to Julie until adulthood. But when it did, it would strike like lightning. Through her painful metamorphosis, she discovered the courage to save her own life—and, ultimately, the life of the girl her mother had found to replace her. Sickened takes us to new places in the human heart and spirit. It is an unforgettable story, unforgettably told.

Sickened is a very well-known memoir that I have been wanting to read for a very long time. I am very interested by mental health and I was extremely intrigued try the thought of reading a book about the rare but highly interesting condition called Munchausen By Proxy (now known as Factitious Disorder by Proxy). Gregory certainly was very successful in bringing awareness to this illness.

Sickened is the memoir of Julie Gregory, a woman brought up by a mother who has  Munchausen by Proxy and has abused her since childhood. This book tells us about her childhood, often spent seeking out different medical specialists and being subjected to numerous unnecessary drugs and procedures. There were some more interesting and shocking scenes described in the book but I often wished there was more depth to them - I felt the book often focused on the negatives of Sandy, Julie's mother, rather than the true impact of her abhorrent actions. The memoir has copies of Gregory's medical records interspersed throughout. I found reading the medical documents to be the most interesting parts of the book.

Despite the fascinating subject matter, I have to be honest and say that I unfortunately just didn't find this book compelling. This book should have been gripping but I really just couldn't connect with it and as a result, I felt more apathetic towards it than I should have. This may partially be to the overly verbose writing style which I really didn't enjoy. Naturally, I felt both sympathy and a sense of respect for Julie but, mainly, I held a strong disdain towards her mother and father.

Unfortunately I can't say that the book had a great impact on me. I think that this may have actually been better portrayed if the Gregory had worked alongside a more experienced writer in order to tell her story. This is one of those books that I do feel bad for criticising due to the sensitive content, but in all honestly, I wouldn't recommend it. I will, however, continue to look for both more stories and factual information about the very important and destructive Factitious Disorder by Proxy. 

The Brothers of Auschwitz

The Brothers of Auschwitz by Malka Adler (Translated by Noel Canon)

Paperback, 433 pages

Published 1st September 2020 by One More Chapter

Shelves:  books-i-own, historical, lasting-impression, memoirs-biographies-etc, non-fiction, read, read-in-2021, ww2

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

An extraordinary novel of hope and heartbreak, this is a story about a family separated by the Holocaust and their harrowing journey back to each other.

My brother’s tears left a delicate, clean line on his face. I stroked his cheek, whispered, it’s really you…

Dov and Yitzhak live in a small village in the mountains of Hungary, isolated both from the world and from the horrors of the war. But one day in 1944, everything changes. The Nazis storm the homes of the Jewish villagers and inform them they have one hour. One hour before the train will take them to Auschwitz.

Six decades later, from the safety of their living rooms at home in Israel, the brothers finally break their silence to a friend who will never let their stories be forgotten.

It's incredibly difficult for me to know where to even start when reviewing this book as it left me speechless. As you've probably determined from my other reviews, I try to consume as many books about the Holocaust (and Auschwitz in particular) as I can and, so far, this has to be the best book that I've read regarding the subject. 

The book is a work of historical fiction which is strongly based on the true stories of two young brothers. The Brothers of Auschwitz follows the story of characters Dov and Yitzhak after they have been expelled from their home in Hungary during the Holocaust and follows their journey all the way up to modern day. The story is intertwined with present-day chapters of the author's journey through Israel. Despite the title, a relatively short amount of this book is actually set in the Auschwitz camp itself and around half way through we begin to learn about the start of the death march and destruction the camp. I found this very interesting and enlightening - we even get to see the long-term effects of all of the events and how it affects the brothers sixty years on. 

It took me a short while to really get into this book due to the distinct lack of punctuation (particularly speech marks), but once I become immersed in the story I was absolutely captivated. This book certainly isn't for the lighthearted but that's actually one of the things that makes it so extradordinary - the descriptions of the emotions and experiences are so visceral, so raw and really do take your breath away. I literally had to put the book down and take a break on several occasions. The honesty and detail in the writing which portrays some of the most abhorrent behaviour of humankind is absolutely jaw-dropping. I have read some books which are more sanitised versions of real events and whilst I can understand why authors do that, I think that this book makes such an impact because of the unadulterated, often sickening descriptions. The honesty is heart wrenching. 

Overall, this is a book that will stay with me for a very, very long time and it's certainly a book that had one of the biggest impacts on me. I would recommend this to anybody who is interested in the the Second World War and wants a raw, no holds barred story about the events and impact of the Holocaust.

A Spark of Light

A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult

Paperback, 368 pages

Published 11th June 2019 by Hodder

(First published 2nd October 2018)

Shelves:  adult-fiction, books-i-own, contemporary, let-down, medical-conditions, read-in-2021, realistic-fiction, to-be-reviewed

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

The warm fall day starts like any other at the Center—a women’s reproductive health services clinic—its staff offering care to anyone who passes through its doors. Then, in late morning, a desperate and distraught gunman bursts in and opens fire, taking all inside hostage.

After rushing to the scene, Hugh McElroy, a police hostage negotiator, sets up a perimeter and begins making a plan to communicate with the gunman. As his phone vibrates with incoming text messages he glances at it and, to his horror, finds out that his fifteen-year-old daughter, Wren, is inside the clinic.

But Wren is not alone. She will share the next and tensest few hours of her young life with a cast of unforgettable characters: A nurse who calms her own panic in order save the life of a wounded woman. A doctor who does his work not in spite of his faith but because of it, and who will find that faith tested as never before. A pro-life protester disguised as a patient, who now stands in the cross hairs of the same rage she herself has felt. A young woman who has come to terminate her pregnancy. And the disturbed individual himself, vowing to be heard.

Told in a daring and enthralling narrative structure that counts backward through the hours of the standoff, this is a story that traces its way back to what brought each of these very different individuals to the same place on this fateful day.

I am always keen to read anything written by Jodi Picoult and I was very keen to finally pick up and read A Spark of Light. The premise of this book sounded very interesting, thought-provoking and immediately grabbed my attention. Picoult is known for pushing controversial subjects to the forefront and exploring them without apology - this book is no exception.

A Spark of Light is a story set around an American women's reproductive health clinic on a fateful day when a gunman invades the building and holds everyone inside hostage. The setting allows for the exploration of several subjects, mainly centring around the often-debated, sensitive issue of abortion. Picoult introduces us to several characters in order to help us explore  many different thoughts, viewpoints and explanations. I loved the diversity of all of the different characters - people of different ages, professions, religions, genders, sexualities and backgrounds. Although there were many characters they all felt substantial and well developed. It was very easy to consider and empathise with almost every character. Ironically, the 'main' character, Wren, was the character that I found least interesting. 

Although the content was interesting and made for entertaining (though not joyful) reading, the timeline of this book is what both confused and disappointed me about this book. Picoult certainly made a daring choice by writing this book in reverse chronology but lamentably, it really didn't work for me. It meant that any suspense was quickly diminished in a story that had the potential to be extremely tense and gripping. Due to the timeline there were rarely any surprises or page-turning moments, so I did find some of the book a little laborious to get through - it even felt a little repetitive at times.

In conclusion, A Spark of Light was a story with great potential. I really enjoyed meeting the characters and I feel like I both debated a lot and learned a lot. In particular, I found the section about the actual procedure of abortion to be very educational and emotional. This book certainly leaves you with a lot to think about and I really loved and appreciated the exploration of all points of view. Though I can understand the author's desire for experimentation, I know that if the story was told in a traditional, chronological manner, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. 

Don't Tell Teacher

Don't Tell Teacher by Suzy K. Quinn

Paperback, 384 pages

Published 25th July 2019 by HQ

Shelves:  abuse, adult-fiction, books-i-own, crime-thriller-mystery, mental-health, read, read-in-2021, realistic-fiction

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

Description via Goodreads:

School should have been the safest place…

For Lizzie Riley, switching her six-year-old son Tom to the local academy school marks a fresh start, post-divorce. With its excellent reputation, Lizzie knows it’ll be a safe space away from home.

But there's something strange happening at school. Parents are forbidden from entering the grounds, and there are bars across the classroom windows.

Why is Tom coming home exhausted, unable to remember his day? What are the strange marks on his arm? And why do the children seem afraid to talk?

Lizzie is descending into every parent’s worst nightmare: her little boy is in danger. But will she be able to protect him before it’s too late?

Don't Tell Teacher is one of those books that is quite hard to review without giving away any spoilers - but I will do my very best. This was a book unlike any other that I've read before which was as equally as intriguing as it was anxiety-inducing!

The story revolves around Lizzie who has moved her child, Tom, to a new area and a new school after fleeing from problems with her abusive ex-husband, Ollie. Shortly after moving to his new school, Tom's behaviour and health begins to deteriorate and it soon becomes clear that someone is controlling and hurting him. Throughout the book both Lizzie, social worker Kate and the reader try to discover what exactly is happening.

Throughout, we are introduced to the perspectives of several different characters which makes for fast-paced, easy reading but sadly does not allow any of the characters to build any great complexity. I was particularly disappointed with the narration of the social worker, Kate, who initially seemed as though she had so much potential but sadly was under-developed as a character. There is such an important message within this book about the issues within social care - the fact that many of the workers are dangerously overworked, underfunded and generally under-supported despite their important work. Bringing awareness to these issues is  of great importance and what was covered was well done but I think there was even more potential to explore this.

I can't say that I didn't become frustrated and a little confused at some of Lizzie's actions, though this became more comprehensible by the end of the book. I did have my suspicions of 'whodunit' by the middle of the book which turned out to be correct, but Quinn did a great job of cleverly making me doubt myself throughout. Despite my predictions, I still really enjoyed the twist at the end as it's something that I've not come across before in a book and it's definitely a jaw-dropper.

On the whole, Don't Tell Teacher was a gripping, easy-to-read book that kept my attention throughout. I wish the characters had been more complex, but as a psychological page-turner, I would certainly recommend this book for anyone looking for a compelling read and I will definitely look forward to reading more by Suzy K. Quinn in the future.